Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
