i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
PANTIES FOUND
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
