Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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