singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
