I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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