I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
