scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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