I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
