I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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