this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
