so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize