Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When did angry sex become our thing?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
