hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
