She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
