Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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