woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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