I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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