clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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