god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
