i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
