He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
