He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
