oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
