I must be too annoying 4 u.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
