No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sober January is a disaster.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
