Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
That's when you crack a 10am beer
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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