At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
