There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
