Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize