there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
