i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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