TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
