do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize