I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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