I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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