Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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