We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
