Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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(310): View more from California

i fucked a milf yesterday.

(619): View more from California

i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

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(253): View more from Washington

waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me

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(314): View more from Missouri

Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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(305): View more from Florida

She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"

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(301): View more from Maryland

You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!

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