did you get engaged???
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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