She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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