Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
