at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
