i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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