I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
