I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize