you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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