Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
