i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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