you guys were way drunker than both of me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
