I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
