Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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