you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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