One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
