I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
