as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
