But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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