well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Panties = found
Randomize
