Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
