but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
