how can u be prego again
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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