...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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