i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
