So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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